preschool

my big girl is an even bigger girl! riley started mother hubbard nursery school this fall and loves it. she doesn't even wait for me before walking into the building. we're still struggling with getting ready tuesday and thursday mornings to be there by 9:30 but we make it. class is from 9:30 to 11:30. they have been doing a lot of painting, learning colors/shapes--which riley is already really comfortable with--and manners, like sneezing into your elbow not your hand, washing hands after blowing your nose (and suck your thumb:), and walking not running in the classroom. some of riley's favorite things are the computer, the climber, the tire swing, painting, and circle time. for as social as riley is everyone else it seems she keeps to herself in school and watches the kids. one day she walked in and all the kids were going ape and playing and she took her spot right on the carpet to wait for circle time. it's all very sweet. i can't wait to see what the year has in store for her.

grandpa

hey babies,

it feels like i can't go on writing without saying something about grandpa, as he was a big part of our summer. maybe riley will remember him but spencer won't even though she gets excited when we see pictures of him or go to grandma's house. right after spencer's first birthday we noticed grandpa didn't feel well or look well. he was yellow. this later became somewhat of a joke because riley would say "your eyes are yellow. you look like a monster." after several doctor appointments without any clear diagnosis other than cirrhosis of the liver, we were told by doctors at U of M hospital that he had cancer and kidney failure. he was sick. he didn't have a lot of energy to play with you girls but absolutely loved it when he got to see you. upon first walking in the house spencer would look directly to his chair and if grandpa wasn't there she'd start the search. both of you would sit with him and pull out all the toys and things he kept in the cabinet drawer next to his chair in the living room. one day we even went outside and fingerpainted, and while i was at work he would go with you and daddy to the park.

it was the end of august when he went to heaven. a few hours before that i took you both to red robin for dinner. daddy was at the hospital. we were driving past their street and riley said "grandpa's tummy is all better. it doesn't hurt anymore. he's at the store getting a band-aid." i've never felt more pain than when i knew either of you would never see him again nor get to know him better--or, for that fact, remember how totally cool he was but you didn't know it yet. we still talk to him even though he's not here and tell you that he sees everything you girls are doing. one day at the park, daddy told riley that grandpa could see her and she looked all over the place thinking she'd see him somewhere. riley still says things like "when grandpa comes back from heaven" so it will take some time before she really gets what heaven is.

he's the only one who could call you "little s__" and i wouldn't mind. he helped us put together the fish tank and he bought a good filter for it. everytime he was over he would check on the fish. he loved going to pet stores with you and seeing your reactions to all the little animals and fish. there was a big macaw at greenwood's that was out of its cage and spencer had never been so excited in her life. he got a real kick out of that. he may have been a grump but he accepted people for who they are. i think that is the best lesson he ever taught us.

summer vaca

a few weeks ago we took a trip to aunt pam's in grand rapids. we had an incredible time with her and uncle steve just hanging around their house, riding the trike, coloring with chalk, and sitting on their great porch. we went to the nearby beach and played in the sand and water. riley was very hesitant to go in the lake--more interested in playing on the play structures--but once she was in she didn't want to come out, running into the water baywatch style jumping and even sitting neck-deep in the water. spencer enjoyed flinging mud and sitting with just her bum in the water. she started taking a lot of steps so she was interested in exploring. we had a nice, but cold, picnic.

grandma toni met us at pam's on on sunday. that afternoon we went to john ball zoo, which was AMAZING! i liked it better than the detroit zoo. it was the perfect size for an after-nap trip. riley even rode a camel with mike! it wasn't a pleasant ride for him but i think he's happy he got to share it with riley because she was so excited. we saw a lion up close and spencer's fave--warthogs. pam and i did a zip line through the trees. mike was up there, all set to go, then backed out. i haven't seen him so nervous.

monday was the big day. after nap we went to michigan's adventure amusement park. wow wow wow! sooooo much stuff for riley to do. i felt bad because spencer could only sit and watch most of the time but i think she was happy with that. she likes to see things move and flash and then once she gets on them it's not that interesting. riley went on her first rollercoaster--a wooden one called Zach's Zoomer. it was pretty big and i don't think riley was tall enough to ride it but pretty close. we weren't even off the platform before she said she wanted to go on another ride. big dipper, frog hopper, airplanes, dumbo, motorcycles, winky the whale (which spencer was able to go on, too). riley was super disappointed she couldn't go on the swings--maybe next time (or not, i went on them with pam and it was the scariest ride of my life!) spencer enjoyed walking all around the place and watching the rides go up and down. both the girls were troopers and spencer fell asleep before we even made it out of the parking lot; riley, however, was talking non-stop about her day all the way back to pam's.

this picture sums it all up. check out that smile on riley's face! i hope this is something we can do every year because there are always so many good memories and lots of laughs. yes, getting riley to bed and to stay in bed was tough, as was constantly keeping spencer from tumbling down the steps, but nothing beats time away with the family.

clowns

i found yesterday that spencer doesn't like clowns. at all. i took the girls to the library because they had clowns there doing face painting, animal balloons, etc. at first she got a real worried/scared look on her face, then the clown looked at her and she freaked. to be honest, i didn't like the clowns either. when i asked if one "lady clown" could make a balloon for spencer she looked at me like i had two heads. "who?" she asked. she went into a long rant about how spencer would choke if she got a hold of it. so, the girls had the share the pink sword riley got (which came apart less than two hours later and deflated).

i guess clowns aren't as fun as they used to be.

wolfman mac

i took riley to her first horror convention--motor city nightmares at the crown plaza in novi. a friend of ours (don) had a dealer's badge so we were able to get in for free. mike had gone the day before and was telling us about all the guests (tobe hooper, michael myers, candyman, etc).

among them was wolfman mac of nightmare sinema. yes, detroit's very own horror host. well, upon hearing this riley was all about going there to meet him. (it was on the way to this show where we had the "drinking blood from a sippy" conversation.)

we get to the convention and start roaming around looking for cool stuff. riley was totally into it, though holding my hand tight the entire time. she was not fearful of the fake limbs and bones and skulls, nor the life-size michael myers display. we looked at posters. it was so much having her here because mike and i have been into doing this type of stuff for so long and to now have our little girl be interested reignited my excitement all over again.

after lots of browsing we went by wolfman mac's table but no wolfman mac! you're kidding me--you cannot do this to a 2.5 year old! "where is he?" "when's he coming?!" the answers were not good and all pointed in the direction of him not being there at all. after more wandering about and talking we tried again. yes! he was back! and riley could not take her eyes off of him and i think he was equally excited to see his youngest fan. they chatted, she got a keychain, met boney bob. that night we recorded his show and have been watching on sunday mornings ever since (ie, spider baby, robot monster, santa claus conquers the martians).

blood and high heels

riley likes to talk about blood and she likes to wear high heels. a princess-horror-fan in the making. what a great combination. she often says, "i'm going to put you in blood!" not in a mean way, but she thinks it's funny. we all laugh of course. and lately she has worn nothing but high heels around the house. before her feet touch the floor in the morning they slide into her pink frilly pumps and she says "i have to wear my high heels." one day this week she really wore them ALL day. we don't let her wear them outside, in the bathroom, or when we go places as much as she would like to. we've had a few close-calls in the kitchen because those things are slippery on the laminate floor. she gets up, no tears, and keeps on going.

back to the blood thing. we were in the car saturday morning and i asked her for a sip of her water that was in her sippy. here's what transpired:

me: can i have a drink of your water?

riley: no.

me: that's not very nice.

riley: you won't like it. it doesn't taste good.
me: why not?

riley: it's blood. it's my blood.

me: do you like it?

riley: yeah

me: well, let me try your blood. (i take a swig and pass it back.) that's good blood.

riley: yeah

not enough hours in the day

twenty-four hours is really not enough. i'm home with you girls everyday and it sometimes feels like i don't get to spend time with you. at least the kind of time i want to spend with you.

i need to get meals ready, clean up, put the mail away, vacuum so you're now crawling in filth, scrubbing the tub so you're not bathing in filth, doing laundry, taking the trash out, paying bills. as i type this, the computer desk at which i sit is covered with baby books, coasters with pushpins in them, packing tape roll, a broken monkey clock, my report cards from 4th grade (thanks, mom!), a broken wireless router, paper scraps, eyeglass cloth, and $100 in snapfish pictures so all my time is really not spent cleaning. oh yeah, and i work silly real job. what sense does that make? i can't sit and read a book right now because i need to clean the table on which you're going to eat. i can't organize your shoes with you because i have to start dinner. i can't build a high tower with you because there is a mountain of dirty clothes on the bedroom floor.

i relish the moments when we're all together in one room just playing. riley will "do doctor to you" and spencer will pull out all her books or crawl into her chair then out then in then out. i'm sure this affects me more than you and you probably don't think anything of it, but being a mom i'm wracked with guilt 90% of the time. i want to be everything to you girls--i want to fix healthy meals in 30 seconds, i want to play dress-up, build forts, color, and be silly all day but i just can't. i want to give you all of me all of the time but i just can't. each day i will try to be a better mom, the best mom.

what a difference a year makes

i was just thinking that at this time last year i was so nervous when i was alone with the girls. i seriously thought anyone who had two kids (the first being so young) was insane. i just kept asking myself and everyone i knew "how on earth do people do it????" it was impossible. i had to hold spencer all the time and riley was still just a baby herself so i had to be with her too. how would i make lunch? what would riley do while i was nursing or trying to put spencer down for a nap? (well, pretty much whatever she wanted because there was nothing i could do. she was always such a good girl though, i never had to worry.)



now it's smooth-sailing. well . .. almost. i don't break out in hives when it's just us girls.

spencer's new tricks

signs! spencer is signing a bit. her favorite one is book. when i ask her how to sleep she'll tilt her head and put her arm to the side of her head. she'll also sign "all done," "bath," and "milk." for as much as she likes to eat i thought that would be a popular sign for her but when she sees food she's overcome with excitement and forgets about everything else. she just started shaking her head when someone says "no no no."

she dances! this girl's got moves! one day she was standing at the front door and our neighbors across the street were playing music and she started swaying her hips back and forth. we'll say "dance" and she'll start moving and waving her arms and shaking her head. in a store last week, i could barely hear the music and she was sitting in her stroller moving her shoulders, kicking her feet all in rhythm. i love it love it love it! spencer points her finger a lot at things she wants to get a closer look at or just notices from a distance, especially balloons. i think she could spot a bunch from 20 yards away. she also does this thing where she tenses up, clenches her jaw, opens her eyes wide and points very precisely at whatever it is that grabbed her attention (she uses that pointer like a laser). it's sign of pure excitement and she often does it when she sees sweet potatoes or any type of cake.

she likes to play peek-a-boo, where she does the peeking. when she has a book open she'll put it on her head or over her face and then move it down real fast. i'll say "peek-a-boo" and she'll do it again and again and again. in her big baby words book i'll tell her to point out certain things and for the most part she does--like butterfly, banana (of course!), boat, frog. i love to watch her catch-on to things like this for the first time. in her room, she has little bo peep and two sheep on the wall, and i'll say "say hi to the sheep" or "tell the sheep night night" and she looks over there and opens and closes her hand in a wave. she mutters a little "nigh nigh"--at least i think so.

spencer is 1!

my little pencie turned 1 on june 7. i was so excited for this birthday and i don't know why. maybe because i know of all that is still to come . . . first words (of which there really aren't any yet), first steps (eh, kinda of in the same boat with this one), etc. i remember every moment of her birth and those days in the hospital like they were yesterday. i remember the position in which she was laid on my chest when she was born. i remember her being so quiet and calm in those first minutes, and how she felt so heavy to me at the time though just 7.14 and 21 inches long. but now, she's 19.6 lbs, and 30 inches of sweetness! really, i think she has sugar running through her veins.

we had a nice party with neighborhood kids and family. we were all outside and the weather was beautiful. the kids made the party--they were so excited over the water balloons, water pistols, bubbles, sprinkler. i made sloppy joes, mae mae made mac n cheese for the kids, we had brownies, cole slaw, pasta salad. an over-abundance of food as always. mike and i were talking about the party long after it was over. everyone had a great time and i wasn't stressed or worried about anything. it was perfect. the cake was amazing. it was beautiful and delicious--buttercream frosting, marble cake, 3 little cupcakes on top and a "smash cake" that i didn't know i was getting. pink icing, purple and yellow polka dots. spencer had no qualms about diving into this thing. the tray on her high chair wasn't even locked in and she was grabbing fistfuls.

spencer had a blast crawling around, eating, playing, and sitting on top of her birthday presents. that water table box was a hit. i think all the kids were on it at one point. some of her gifts include books, hair clips, a signature onesie with her name on it (thank you cousin corey and amanda), a bubble machine, play purse, savings bonds, tights and babylegs, and so much more! pencie was wiped out by bed time and just as i was putting her down aunt debbie came in--she drove all the way from ohio in horrendous weather to make it to the party. we were so so so happy to see her. we played for a bit and spencer got to visit with aunt deb, which she doesn't get to do as much since debbie moved, but each moment with her is so special. the little shabby chic doll chair is perfect size for pencie and she loves to "hug" the little baby that came with it.

we had a crazy fast year and they're only going to go by faster so i'm trying to soak it all in and not wish her any older. thought i'm dying for her to take some steps--it's going to be so cute to see that short little body walk.